Wei zeg dice what?: A Non-Expert’s Theory on Love

I choose to believe the people there were just as ’80’s fab as they are depicted here.

(I didn’t mean to start writing again, but it’s just kind of happening and I’m going with it. I kind of reverse-psychologized (totally not a word…) myself by saying I wasn’t writing anymore this summer, but as F. Scott Fitzgerald once wrote himself (and yes, I’m being THAT person by quoting someone else): “You don’t write because you want to say something. You write because you have something to say.” And everyone kept telling me to write about this, so…) 

Love is a lot like the Tower of Babel. Or at least, I think is probably is.

In the story of the Tower of Babel (a less colloquial version can be found in Genesis 11), everyone was chilling out, speaking the same language, & working on a big real estate project, when BAM. God was like “Nope.” He confused everyone’s language so that everyone was speaking different dialects and nobody could understand one another and then He scattered everyone across the world. That’s how we got the name “Babel,” which is similar to the Hebrew word “balel” (“to jumble.”)

Can you imagine how utterly confusing that would have been? One second, you’re hanging with your friends building a tower and then the next, you’re speaking English, someone else is speaking Cantonese, and yet another person is next to you speaking Arabic (or whatever…just go with the metaphor.) I cannot imagine the feeling of panic and isolation as you (and everyone else around you) cannot communicate with one another. Can you imagine the relief and security when you finally meet someone who understands what you’re saying?

I kind of think love is the same way.

Love is finding someone who speaks your language.

Everyone speaks a different dialect or language and we’re kind of scattered all across the world looking for others who understand us. And it’s not easy! For some, maybe there’s only a few people in the entire world who speak your same language. Maybe others have a more widely spoken dialect, so it’s easier to find someone who speaks the same language. I don’t believe in a soul mate, but I do think that for some people, there’s a smaller amount of possibilities than for others.

And maybe those are the types of people who settle. Maybe people get tired of wandering around, looking for someone to understand what they’re saying. Maybe they find someone who brokenly speaks a little bit of their language, like Spanglish, and decide that this is better than waiting more.

Love isn’t an accomplishment. It’s something that happens, in whatever length of time that it happens to take. Long or short, trust the process.

Or at least, that’s what I plan to do. And to quote yet another author, J.R.R. Tolkien, “Not all who wander are lost [or desperate.]”


questions about love

Does one ever regret kindness or thoughtfulness?

Is love ever truly wasted on a person or just the time spent on them?

Why is it so arbitrary sometimes? “You love who you love,” but…why? 

Perhaps love always sows something, you just aren’t reaping it. Because also, “wasting” love implies lending quantity to something boundless. And perhaps the person needs it more than you need a response. 

If “perfect love casts out all fear,” then we don’t need to be afraid of loving others too much or showing thoughtfulness. I don’t want to look back and wish I loved more and withheld less. 

5 Reasons Why NOT to Online Date, as told by gifs

As part of my “Week of Online Dating” theme, unlike my hard-hitting expose coming later on this week (it’s, like, totally real journalism), here’s 5 reasons why I actually HATE online dating. 

Full disclosure: at this time in my life, I would never go on a date with someone off OkCupid or Eharmony, et al (and NEVER Seeking Arrangement, a sugar daddy site with the faaaaaint trace of prostitution). Why? I’m just 22, practically a child, and that just scares me to death! I’ve seen way too many episodes of Catfish. In a few years & once that show’s off the air, then I’ll be ready to online date–unless of course I’m dating Nev Schulman. In the spirit (and hope) of that, here’s my top five reasons to not online date:

anigif_enhanced-buzz-23118-1368686502-71. You might end up as the subject of Catfish (If so, let me pretend to be your sister to meet Nev). As a rule, I have pretty terrible luck. The kind of stuff you might see on a sitcom, but without the laugh track, redeemable 30 minutes later ending, or budget. I’d probably get Catfished immediately. (In fact, I’m pretty sure I “discovered” at least TWO fake accounts on my own.)


2. If you build it, they will come. It meaning a profile, they meaning the CREEPIEST GUYS IN THE UNIVERSE. I am NOT kidding. Your milkshake/cleverly worded profile & tasteful photos brings all the boy weirdos to the yard.


Like the sea of zombies attacking Brad Pitt in “World War Z,” those strange people will be falling all over you. If you have zero self-confidence, I guess maybe you could see it as nice? But no. The answer is no.  anigif_enhanced-buzz-3879-1374283869-3

I personally don’t understand why the ones who seem to be normal, attractive, and are like 90% your match aren’t as confident as the creepy guys. Is it like “Freaky Friday” every day of the week?

This is an actual photo from an actual OkCupid account

This is an actual photo from an actual OkCupid account

3. You’ll be forced to become an expert avoider. I’m not an avoidant personality type–I will say what needs to be said or be the one to go into awkward situations to fix the problem. But what in the world do you do when someone chats with you & asks to get coffee when you really don’t want to?


I mean, YES, you could say no, but I feel so bad! So I just…avoid the question/don’t respond. This method works GREAT for every online dating scenario: when someone asks for your number, when they want to actually meet (gasp, the horror), when they ask you weird questions like “What can you work on to improve as a woman?” anigif_enhanced-buzz-28571-1374970475-22

IGNORE EVERYTHING. I know this is horrible advice, and that’s why this is a reason NOT to online date. You are forced to become what you hate.

4.  Online Dating makes dating seem like a total meat market.  Basically, you’re just online shopping for a person to be with–and you can be even MORE specific about what you what to do with that person (casual sex, pen pals (I know, weird right?), casual dating, long term dating, etc) or what you want them to look like. This isn’t real, but an automat of personality traits and physical features. I know it works wonderfully for some people, but I think everyone who online dates needs to be careful to not fall into that online shopping trap.


It’s also easy to make it into a game & be heartless about online dating. Because there’s little “real life” contact, I always find it easy to be a total smartass and forget that these accounts are actual people. If I let myself, I become a online dating dictator, completely ignoring people if our “match numbers” are low or if they don’t have a cool profile, or any sort of little whatever.


In real life, that’s not cool. People deserve more than virtual judgement–this is probably the biggest reason I won’t online date. I’m too immature to not be judgmental.
5. Facebook stalking is wayyyyy more fun. A few days in to online dating, the fun will wear away because there’s only so much you can do on there. Stalking “real life” people on social media will never fail or disappoint you. Never.  Plus, you can view people’s pages “invisibly”–no one will ever know!
So, my dear friends, if you online date, may the odds be ever in your favor!

The buzz on alcohol (and other horrible puns) PART II

So, a couple of weeks ago I posted part one of my journey and thoughts regarding drinking. To recap, basically I was an extremely judgmental elitist who wasted a lot of energy on a subject which wasn’t half as big of a deal as I made it out to be.

Everyone was so kind in their comments and responses! I’m glad that my little thoughts were of good use. There’s nothing quite as powerful as hearing someone else say “Me too–I struggled with that also!” to feel community and support. (Looooove it!)

Without further hesitation, here’s part two, or “Get out of your house!”  Continue reading

ways to my heart. in no particular order.

In case you were wondering, “Hmm, I wonder how I could go about endearing myself to Kelsy?”, have I got a blog post for you! This lays out the basics, basically.  Nobody’s perfect (DEFINITELY myself included), but these things are like gold. 

1. Understanding that the weirder the documentary topic is, the more likely I will watch it. Hoarders, people who marry inanimate objects, life after the porn industry, anything about holistic food, anything on TLC…if you love these too, get ready to spend hours getting mutually shocked by them.

2. Sharing anything funny or interesting (videos, pictures, links to articles) with me when you find them and just know I’ll love it. Because you better believe I’ll be bombarding you with the latest puppy pictures ASAP.

3. Never wanting to stop learning and growing as a person. Staying open and curious about life is so important.

4. Not being afraid to show emotion when something is truly touching or sad (although we can never ever watch “My Dog Skip” or glaringly emotional manipulative animal movies (…”War Horse”…), let’s agree to that now.)

5. Giving solid, honest, hard to hear advice.

6. Realizing that sporadic dance parties, rap sessions, or dramatic musical pantomime can and will happen anytime, anywhere.

7.  Not try to one-up, out-do, or correct something insignificant. I’m sorry, but your insecurity is showing. And unless you’re Penelope from SNL, it’s not cool.

8.  Don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself. Some random guy once said “Nothing shows a man’s character more than what he laughs at,” and I couldn’t’ agree more. Let’s face it. We’re all pretty ridiculous. I gave up on ever trying to look cool after the Middle Parted Hair Disaster of 2006. If you can laugh at yourself and truly take a joke, you’re pretty great in my book.

9.  Treating others around you–even the sometimes annoying, or rude, or totally dopey ones–with kindness and patience.

10. Being alive. Ain’t nobody got time for those Twilight/Warm Bodies/Vampire Diaries shenanigans.

Flashy Rhetoric about Love

One of my classes this semester focuses on the life and work of C.S. Lewis, the Christian theologian and writer. After reading his biography and various works, as well as visiting his home in Oxford, I feel like I almost know him.

This poem is perfect for Valentine’s Day in every way, mostly because I can thoroughly relate.

“As the Ruin Falls”, C.S. Lewis

All this is flashy rhetoric about loving you.
I never had a selfless thought since I was born.
I am mercenary and self-seeking through and through:
I want God, you, all friends, merely to serve my turn.

Peace, re-assurance, pleasure, are the goals I seek,
I cannot crawl one inch outside my proper skin:
I talk of love –a scholar’s parrot may talk Greek–
But, self-imprisoned, always end where I begin.

Only that now you have taught me (but how late) my lack.
I see the chasm. And everything you are was making
My heart into a bridge by which I might get back
From exile, and grow man. And now the bridge is breaking.

For this I bless you as the ruin falls. The pains
You give me are more precious than all other gains.

My life is the same as “The Bachelor.”

Let love be your highest goal! 1 Corinthians 14:1

There is something really odd about living with twenty random people in a different country for 3 months. Unless you’re a contestant on a show like “Big Brother” or one the “Bachelor” spinoffs, that just doesn’t happen in daily life. You get to know one another at such an expedited rate: two weeks here equate three months of “normal” friendship. There’s no time or place for facades, as you are all being thrust into new environments constantly. 

I came with a bad attitude and would often have little rants like this: “I’m a senior graduating in May, I’m not coming on the trip to make friends or God forbid, a trip family. I have that.” Of course, I only expressed those views to a select group back home, but the potency was still in effect through my actions.

I was SO wrong. And selfish. That should be said too. Where is the joy in being exclusive? Where is the growth in miserly locking up my heart? Who was I expecting to share these amazing experiences with?

Incredible, surprising, kind people live in England with me. They challenge me, make me laugh, give great hugs, and pretend to be entertained by my jokes (that’s all I ask.) 

Love doesn’t have an expiration date. Experiencing the beauty of the hearts and personalities around you (being present) isn’t transitional, like time or places. Yeah, my time at Lee and even here in the UK will end, but may I never be unloving because of that.

May love be my highest goal, grace my heritage, thoughtfulness my trademark.