The Time I Tried SIX Dating Sites at Once PART TWO

So by now, you’ve probably read part one of this indelible gimmick series, but let me catch you up: My goal was answer the questions: “Why are people afraid to online date?,” “What are people REALLY looking for on these sites?,” and finally “Why do people respond the way they do?”

 I had some fun on & was totally creeped out by SeekingArrangement, but the real testing of my hypotheses came from this batch of dating sites–ok, namely OkCupid.

It’s been SO fun to read everyone’s reactions! Several of y’all have since commented and told me that you’ve met YOUR significant other from online dating–which makes all this a bit more intimidating! ha, I don’t want to somehow disavow the entire system, because, hey, it actually works for lots of people!

Let’s get the reviews of the boring sites out of the way so we can focus in on the good stuff/research. FIRST, listen to John Mayer’s new song which oddly works with online dating, “Who You Love.” Because John Mayer.


While I must give eHarmony points for having the best design & layout, as well as really interesting profile questions, it was the worst site for my experiment. Why? Even with the free trial period of a week or so, NOTHING HAPPENED. I had about 8 matches, but other than a stray wink (like I told you, it’s online dating currency), nothing happened with any of them. I learned in this experiment that an “unspoken rule” is that girls don’t message guys first, but with eHarmony, you have to pay to do ANYTHING but wink. I’m not sure if it’s because I couldn’t see my matches pictures or the fact that none of them were even remotely close to my age or city, but I quickly stopped liking eHarmony. Maybe it’s best for people who are looking for a super serious relationship–not just random 22 year olds doing a bog experiment.

Highlight: Well, the design WAS pretty cool. 


 YAWN. An affiliate of, I decided to try it in order to learn “world-renowned biological anthropologist” Dr. Helen Fisher’s “scientific formula” to love. I also love personality tests, so I was all about filling out that profile. The test is awfully similar to the Big 5 personality test, so sadly, that was kind of unrevolutionary. shows you people who, based on your personality results, would be THE perfect match for you. Unfortunately, the whole site was one big commercial. Although affiliated with, you have to pay EVEN MORE MONEY in order to actually see your matches. I’m not buying your tricks, (literally AND figuratively.)

Highlights: None whatsoever. Figure out your Myers-Brigg type to have even more fun than this site. (I’m an ENTJ). 


“Christian Mingle is the Club Penguin of online dating” by my partner in crime, Katie Foust of Artistical Thoughts

Or at least that was my first thought about the site because it was so… safe. Too ‘safe,’ actually. The about me section was a series of drop-down menu options so there’s no room for explanation or personalization there. You do get to type out which TV shows you enjoy watching.

When you upload pictures you have to wait at least 24 hours for them to be approved. You could also mail in a physical copy of the picture and they would scan and upload it for you.
When someone was interested in me they could send me a “Smile.” I could either respond with a smile or choose one of their responses. These responses allowed you to show interest in the person, turn them down, or throw a Bible verse at them.  I got the occasional message, but I couldn’t read it unless I paid to upgrade.

I eventually decided that using Club Penguin was a better way to meet people online. You can talk to people without paying, be a penguin of your favorite color, choose your favorite activities and where you want to spend your time. You have the opportunity to earn and be responsible with finances. And you also get to decorate a house the way you’d like (which speaks volumes about who you are and your personality).

AT LAST, here’s the real research I found, all thanks to a little site called OkCupid.


Oh, OkCupid. Very free (minus an unnecessary “A-List” optional fee to help you sort people by body type, etc), extremely popular, and SO FUN (if you enjoy trolling like me). Out of all my accounts, I still have this one…I know I should probably delete it, but it’s just so intriguing.

I’ll show you a few screenshots of my profile, which were pretty normal & totally representative of me. Some people (namely my brother) thought that maybe I lied on profiles for this experiment, which is totally untrue. Each profile was 100% me!

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(My profile name was pretty horrible, I know.)

Screen shot 2013-08-05 at 1.35.53 PM*(Okay, I’ll tell you what an MPDG is–Manic Pixie Dream Girls is this stupid film writing trope that classifies women  as “that bubbly, shallow cinematic creature that exists solely in the fevered imaginations of sensitive writer-directors to teach broodingly soulful young men to embrace life and its infinite mysteries and adventures.” Think I’m being weird? Case in point–every guy who ever is in love with Zooey Deschanel. I personally don’t ever want to be typecast into the “quirky, adorkable” MPDG girl just because it is such a limited understanding of a person and connotes misogyny. Andddd now I’m rambling.) 

There were many, many hilariously serious profiles I found (and apparently, there are also several tumblrs devoted to weird OkCupid profiles! Check them out, but know that some content is probably NSFW. People are sketchy.)

Screen shot 2013-08-05 at 3.07.25 PM

This was one of my favorite little “about me” posts.

I got a LOT of strange messages (and some gross ones which I shall not include), the majority of which I never responded to:

Screen shot 2013-07-27 at 4.28.17 PM

Still my all time favorite comment. You go, Chris.

Screen shot 2013-07-23 at 3.29.45 PM

…I’m just confused…what??

Screen shot 2013-07-27 at 4.29.13 PM

Started out okay (bigandfunny IS a worse sn definitely) but then I just got confused based on the grammatical choices in the sentences…

Then there were questions that really helped me out with my research, namely WHY IN THE WORLD did some people say what they said!? This one guy started a great, normal conversation with me and then three messages later, BAM: literally asked me about my preferences for oral sex.

….Seriously? I know that the Internet adds anonymity and thus, eliminates some of the social fear of rejection, but come on.

Screen shot 2013-08-05 at 1.34.01 PM

Like, how can you tell I’m “different and real” based on a profile? I mean, I’m not THAT convincing of a writer.

...Um? Seriously?

…Um? Seriously?

I'm really not sure why this guy needed to tell me he was Indian. That kind of made me sad to think that he's probably been rejected because of his race, which is just not cool or fair.

I’m really not sure why this guy needed to tell me he was Indian. To be honest, it made me sad to think that he’s probably been rejected because of his race, which is just not cool or fair.

And you also get a lot of “Hey”s and “how r u?”s. Seriously, I’m not even sure how a person ought to respond to that. Online Dating Tip: The BEST messages I ever got were from men who asked me questions about the things I wrote about in my profile. So, please for the love of Cupid, do that. Don’t just compliment or say hi awkwardly.


Screen shot 2013-07-23 at 8.35.06 PM

…WHAT?! Why is this a thing!?

Naturally after, I wondered what would happen if I–a pretty girl–was in turn the creepy one. How would the tables turn? Or would they at all!?

Screen shot 2013-08-05 at 1.47.38 PM

And then I would just message random (and I mean RANDOM) guys and just say “Hi” or “Hi. You are cute.” Sometimes they responded…other times, the creepy factor might have won out. We shall never know.


All in all, I had great fun with this experiment. I learned a LOT about the enigmatic world of online dating, had actual genuine (as in, not just “Hi, how are you?”) conversations with some pretty cool guys, and definitely abolished the stigmas in my own head about online dating.

Why are people afraid to online date? Before, I was really nervous I’d be judged or seen as desperate (remember that cat lady post? Yeah…), but everyone I told this idea to was really on board! They thought the satire element was really awesome and plus, many of my friends were just as curious about it all!  I think that ultimately, people are afraid of the stigma. They don’t want to be seen as unable to meet “real life people.” But that’s not true! EVERYONE online dates. I’m not kidding. Even celebrities and other public figures! Online dating is great if you’ve moved to a new city and want to meet new people or if you’re bored with the people in your city already! There’s really no need to be ashamed. 

What are people REALLY looking for on these sites? As I was talking about this experiment to some friends and brought up what I thought was the big, social message–that everyone just wants community–they all groaned at the cheesiness of that idea. But honestly, we do! Everyone wants to find someone or a group of people who they can say “Oh my gosh, me too! I thought I was the only one!” And sometimes, online dating is the easiest way to figure that out! So, I don’t care if that’s trite, I believe it!

Why do people respond the way they do?  Oh my gosh, I have NO idea still. You saw some of those outlandish messages…weirddddd. Internet anonymity and lack of personal accountability really makes people do and say crazy things. Think of all the mean, trollish YouTube commentors. Would they say that to a person IRL? Nope. Would some of those online dating guys say disgusting things to a stranger? Hopefully not.

Online Dating Tip: If you want to try it, go for it! If you’re serious about it: use If you just want to have fun: OkCupid or Tinder, a new app which somehow I missed in my experiment…Maybe I’ll need to try this all again? ;) 

Talk that Talk: or, Why I stopped hating on the Olympics

Getting ready for a marathon! …in like 2013.

Four weeks ago, I started running.

I’ve been trying to live a better story as of late, and after my  somewhat polarizing bash of the Olympics, I knew I needed to put my money where my mouth was instead of being all talk. I mean, you can’t criticize a worldwide endeavor without actually doing something counteractive.

Let me take a quick to emphasize how big of a deal this is. It is HUGE. I would always secretly hate people who ran, but mainly because I was super jealous of their commitment. I loathed running my entire life–and contary to popular belief, I was actually quite an athlete in high school. I worked at a gym, helped teach at a yoga camp, taught swimming lessons, and trained pretty much every day for my black belt in Taekwondo, which I achieved in August 2009, right before coming to college as a freshman (My black belt test was over 3 hours long and I had to break 12 boards and a brick.) So yeah, you could say I was kind of legit.


Then the summer after freshman year, I had an full-time internship and a part-time job at the movie theater and was too tired to work out. Fast forward to…now.

I’m almost halfway done with my running program and I’m SO proud of myself. I actually really enjoy it now and there’s nothing better than running outside on a beautiful evening with worship songs, Norah Jones, or random French music ringing in your ears. (I obviously listen to very chill music, ha.)

I’m doing the Couch to 5k program, which despite the somewhat embarrassing connotation, it works for me! It’s an interval system, so it’s perfect for running haters. It may be super obnoxious to post about how proud I am of myself for keeping this commitment, but I frankly don’t care. Maybe it’ll inspire you too!

Start living a better story by doing something that kicks my butt? Check! What’s something that you know you should do but just haven’t yet? I dare you to try it for at least three times! (Then you’ll know for sure if you hate/love it.)

(In case you were wondering, I just don’t have/won’t be getting internet at my house, so between spending inordinate amounts of time at Starbucks and the thousand other things on my to-do list, alas my postings will be more on the sporadic side.)

We are shaped & fashioned by what we love.

-Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

As you may or may not know, I love trends & style. I would adore being a fashion blogger, but alas, I don’t have someone to cheerfully force into taking pictures of me every day.  Here in Dallas, I’ve been shopping a TON (much to my inevitable future chagrin) because the malls here are sooooo large. Seriously, there’s an ice skating rink in one. I don’t see the point of that honestly, but hey. It’s there. What can you do?

Love this!

  • What I’m Buying- All things Peplum: This new style is the best. I literally just bought not just one, but TWO of the exact same peplum shirts from Alloy (one’s in coral, the other’s in black…very purposeful!) Not only will you find peplum tops or skirts basically everywherelately (but really–Bebe, Forever21, Anthropologie, Nordstrom’s, H&M…to name a few), but it’s very flattering AND offers a variety of looks. Peplum looks great with skirts (yay!) or even pants. I loveee it.

    How diverse.

  • What’s my Background- Chevron Patterns: I’m so obsessed with this. Not even sure why, but it’s the background of my work computer, laptop, Twitter background…and now it can be yours too!


  • What I’m Reading- 11/22/63 by Stephen King:  Thanks to my friend Evan, I’ve been reading this fantastic new bestseller and I literally cannot put it down. I got it at the library last week & while it’s MASSIVE at 849 pages, I’m close to the end. Weekend goal: finishing it.


I promise I’m not that self-obssessed….haha.

Why no, my obsession with John Mayer isn’t unhealthy.

If strangers summarized me based on Twitter, Facebook, or well, anything, they’d know I have four not-so-secret obsessions:

1. Hoarders

The dirtier and messier, the better.

Not sure why this is my favorite psychological disorder (…or why I even have a favorite psychological disorder in the first place), but it is. I’ve read lots of books and research articles on it, as well as watched 459945 episodes of the various shows about hoarding. (And yes, my heart is innerly thrilled a little bit when I pass a messy, packed car that obviously belongs to a hoarder.)

2.  Downton Abbey

I'm not even kidding: If you don't watch this show, go reevaluate your life. RIGHT NOW.

Honestly, this series is so fantastic that I only have two words for anyone who doesn’t love it: I’m sorry.

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I think I may be the voice of my generation. (Or a voice. Of a generation…)

Let’s face it: I’m banking on being the next Oprah. (I’d even settle for being the next Tina Fey.) Because of my obviously aggrandized self-concept, I feel the burden of  sharing my favorite things of April with all of you. Maybe it’ll change your life! Regardless, this is good practice for when I have my own talk show. (Seriously, I need to get famous asap so that I can write a hilarious bestselling memoir! Who would buy a memoir by a random college aged girl?)

So, here, like Oprah’s List of Favorite Things, is mine. If I was rich enough to buy you all of this AND give you a car, I would:

You will literally never regret this candle.

Pink magnolia candles from Target! I bought one as a housewarming gift…to myself. It’s fabulous.

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