My life (and/or blog title) is a becoming a lie. I can feel myself slowly turning into more of an…introvert.
Don’t get me wrong–some of my best friends are introverts! But I can’t very well have a blog called The Accidental EXTROVERT and also take great joy in canceling plans and pretending to be a hermit.
As the whole extrovert/introvert debacle is best defined as the source of one’s personal energy, I’d still say that mine comes from being social, but the older I become, the more I like to be social while staying in.
I like doing the same activities as, say, Laura Ingles Wilder: making a lot of crafts, reading, and watching a lot of comedies (okay, not really a Little House on the Prairie activity, but I’m sure she spent time watching…prairie dogs or something. Same difference.)
But then someone will invite me to go out. Like OUT out. As in, out of my house. Which also means that I’d probably have to shower and look like a person rather than an amorphous pile of pajamas. Ugh. The effort.
Large parties intimidate me sometimes. If all my friends were going to Gatsby’s house for a huge party, I’d probably stay home & pretend to be reading up on the stock exchange (arguably something more people SHOULD have done, let’s be honest).
I would probably be helping his servants clean or serve drinks or something.
I like small parties because they force you to not be awkward. Which is always a plus. Awkward Kelsy<Charming Kelsy (unless…they’re the same person…Oh my gosh…)
Parties often are the sources of major personal quandaries, such as these:
SCENARIO 1: Sitting at home, researching very important information…
…When a friend calls you & invites you to said party/gathering/whatever. The only person you’ll know there is your friend. This news is unpleasant.
But what can you do? You want to make more friends in the area. You want to live up to the mantle of extroversion. So, despite it all, you go. (But you know very well that if you had been invited via social media, you would’ve denied it faster than you can say “Netflix marathon.”)
SCENARIO 2: So, you’re at the party and interacting (in real life) someone you regularly Facebook stalk/subsequently know everything about. Everything’s going swimmingly…until you accidentally talk about something you weren’t “supposed” to know…Uh…mayday, mayday. Abort conversation!
SCENARIO 3: The party’s now awkward and it’s actually not your fault! Everyone’s talking about a shared memory/opinion of something you have NO idea about. Just pretend to text someone until the conversation becomes relatable? I mean, how long can this conversation last, right?
WRONG, it never ends. Have fun being the new eleventh wheel. It’s also the 11th circle of social hell, basically, right after waving hi to someone & their lack of acknowledgement of your presence.
…Oh parties. As far as I can tell, parties leave you feeling either one of two ways:
Introversion doesn’t always mean the “I hate everyone” party approach, nor is extroversion always the manic socializer. Both can be very fluid & situational, so I think it’s really important to understand that feelings are completely shifting compared to the sometimes restrictive personality label.
At a future party, large or small, I’m just going to wing it and see what happens!